I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
