After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
