Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
