I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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