Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
