white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Someone came in the potted fern
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
