I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
