Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
