R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
