Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
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