you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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