I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize