I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
