Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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