Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Randomize
