It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Drake has all the answers
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize