there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
either way he was missing a nipple.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
