Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
