dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize