you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
