i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
