my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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