I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
