I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize