Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
