too bad you live with your parents still
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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