I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
