The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
