I skipped work to stalk him.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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