That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
