Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
