So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Randomize
