RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
