She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
