yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
