He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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