come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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