Pants 0. Shit 1.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
