You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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