ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
