i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
