You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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