bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
