After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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