if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
