Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
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