I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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