the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
