he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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