How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize