You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
There r osticjed everywhere
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
