sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
