I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
