have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
