going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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