So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
My orgasm happened in two different decades
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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