i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
