I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
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