it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
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