You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
