He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
