I must be too annoying 4 u.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Alive.
So much puke
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Randomize
