she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
