If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
