we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
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