is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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