New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize