so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
