she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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