If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
