Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
