My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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