Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
you win again, gameday.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
